Short’s Quotes

“I love seedy.” September 2011

“What’s the difference between a Mercury and a Mercedes?” May 2011

“What’s wrong with you today? Do you have brain stupid?” April 2011

Old lady store owner at the Albany mall to Carrington after the latter tried to take pictures of the former’s stock of large, souther, dress hats: “No ma’am! You can’t be doin’ that in here! No ma’am!” April 2011

“Don’t worry, family! I’ll keep us fed!” March 2011

Old lady at Universal Studios to Carrington “Uh…ma’am. You got somethin’ on ya pants.” March 2011

“When I’m old and gray, I will sit up in my house and have tea all day.” March 2011

“All I’ve ever wanted in my life is a beef stick.” March 2011 (That’s what she said.)

To Seth: “I had dreams last night that you would NOT approve of.” March 2011

To Seth: “I don’t need you, but I like having you around.” January 2011

“The only difference between Deer and Elk are the size.” 2011

“You know why they call them Nachos? Because if you don’t pay for them, they NOT CHOS!” All the time